A novel by Leo Gonzales

“Jameson,” Father Aberdeen calls out.

Jameson looks down and reads number twelve. “What ef-… What ef-…” Jameson looks up and Father Aberdeen nods.

“You can do it,” he says.

Jameson licks his lips and looks down. “What…effect?” Jameson looks up and Father Aberdeen smiles in agreement. “What effect did the sin of Adam have on all mankind?”

“Thank you,” Father says. “The answer is simple and shown in Psalm 5 1:5 as well as Romans 5:12. All mankind is born in a state of sin and misery.” Father looks up and smiles. “Charlie,” he calls out next.

“What number we on?” Charlie asks and the class laughs.

“Number thirteen,” Father replies. “Pay attention, my son.”

“Right,” Charlie says. “What…do we…in-herit…from Adam…as a result of this…original sin?”

“The answer is simple,” Father says. “We’ve inherited a sinful nature. It says so in Kings 8:46 as well as Psalms 14:2.” Just as Father Aberdeen was going to call on the next student, Charlie asks another question.

“What is sin?” Charlie asks, looking up.

“Your turn is over,” Father replies, and he steps forward. “And you, Charlie, should know better than anyone what sin is. Sin is speaking out of turn. Sin is not doing what one is told. Sin is you.”

Charlie shivers, his lip moving. “How do I get rid of it?”

Father Aberdeen scoffs and shakes his head. “You don’t get rid of it,” he replies. “You are forgiven, but only if you fulfill your sacraments.” He walks to the front of the classroom, writing on the chalkboard. “Does Sister Clara teach you children nothing?” and he draws seven circles on the board. “Seven,” Father says. “Three for the initiation, two for healing, and two sacraments of service.” He walks across the floor and I look around the room. Sister Clara isn’t here and it’s only boys today. “As of now, you children are working on getting your second sacrament.” Charlie suddenly raises his hand, talking again without Father’s permission.

“Father Aberdeen,” he hollers, “What was the first?”

“Charlie, you’re speaking out of turn.” He says it mean, but the good mean, like how he sounds when I ask too many questions. He tells me priests have always been the ones to sacrifice and that Jesus was the ultimate priest because he sacrificed himself. “Your first sacrament,” he says to Charlie, “happened when you were a baby – it was your baptism, my son.”

Charlie puts his fingers to his lips and raises his hand. Father Aberdeen nods and he says, “But I don’t remember that, Father.”

“I can assure you it happened,” he says, “I was there.” Father Aberdeen rolls his eyes to the sky like he’s reading a scroll that came down from the ceiling. “Now where was I?” he asks.

“You were discussing our second sacrament,” I say. I want to ask him why there are no girls today, but I don‘t want to speak out of turn.

“Right,” he says with a smile. “Thank you, my son. The second sacrament, children, is Confirmation.”

“What does it mean?” Charlie asks. I look over and he’s biting his finger.

Father Aberdeen turns to him quickly and sniffs. “Excuse me?”

“What does the first sacrament mean?” he asks. “The baptism?”

“Charlie,” Father says quietly, stepping forward. He took a few more steps than he needed to, putting his hand on Charlie’s desk. “You have to be quiet.  Catechism is an important time to ask important questions, but there has to be order. Ordo Ab Chao!” he screams. “Do you know what that means?”

“No.”

“Order out of Chaos! We must go down the list, but I will answer your question only because it is an important one!” He takes a step back like a piece of wind hit him and sits on the edge of the Sister Clara’s desk. “When you were baptized, you became the son of God,” he says. “You became the greatest son you will ever hope to be, and you didn’t even have to try.”

I look at Charlie and his eyebrows are low. He’s biting his fingers like he’s thinking hard about something. “But my Pa’s name is Billy Ray,” he says. “I’m Billy Ray’s son.” The class laughs and I laugh, and even Father Aberdeen laughs. 

“You have two fathers, my son. Even your father is God’s son.”

Charlie looks around. “No, see, that’s where I think you’re wrong,” he says, “My Pa don’t go to church.”

“Even those who don’t go to church are God’s children,” Father says. “That is why Jesus is God’s greatest son – he died for all of our sins. Your father may not go to church, and he may not believe in God, but God believes in him. He has forgiven him.”

Charlie rubs his chin. “Who forgave who?”

“We must move on!” He gets up from the desk and opens the scripture to a certain page. “Now, where were we? Fourteen,” he says aloud. “Timmy, can you read that?”

“Yes,” I say, looking down at the question. I already know it. I’ve already asked him. “Will Jesus return?” Father looks down, then at me. He’s staring forward, but nowhere, like in confessional.

“Let’s put a pin in this,” Father says, closing the book. He looks at the class, smiling. “I want to talk to you boys about something,” he groans. “Now I don’t fully agree with it, but the state requires that we teach you all about some changes you may be going through.”

I look around and see boys looking up from the backs of other boy’s heads, craning their necks to see Father.

“Most of you are in the middle of something you aren’t even aware of,” he goes on, walking down the aisles of all the boys, his voice getting low, “something so strange and taboo that no one wants to talk about it.”

“What is it?” Charlie asks, louder than I know he means to.

“Charlie, sit down!” Father yells. Charlie shrivels in his seat and Father stands upright. “I’m sick and tired of telling you to behave,” he shouts. He breathes in and blows it out just as deep. I’ve never seen him this mad. “As I was saying, your bodies are changing, and the faculty of St. Mary’s wants to make sure that you all understand the gravity of what is happening to you.” He stays quiet and one boy starts snickering in the back. “Enough of that now,” he says, and the boy quiets up. “Do you all understand the gravity of what is happening to you? Right at this moment?” The class stays quiet and Father nods. “Good,” he says, flicking the lights and turning on the old TV in the corner. It’s dusty. 

Father puts a VHS tape in and I smile. I love movies. There’s a woman on the screen. She’s old, older than Sister Clara, and she’s wearing a dress with pretty flowers. She’s in a bright office with a big window. She also has flowers in the back with brightly colored walls and lipstick.

“Hello!” she says with a British accent. “I’m so happy to see you. Today, we’re going to be talking about you.” Me? “You’re growing up,” she says softly. “You’re going through a lot of changes and it may seem scary at first, but I assure you it’s quite fascinating! You see, children.” She closes her hands like she’s about to pray. “Everything in the universe is based on love. But it’s important to remember the one who loves the most is God. So let’s start by asking Him to help us understand all of this.” She bows her head and all the boys bow. I look at Father and he nods, and I bow. “Dear Lord, I am excited to invite you to be with us as we talk together about growing up because you are the inventor of people. You are the one best aimed to understand us and help us understand each other and love one another.” She’s quiet for a bit. I lift my head and open my eyes even though I know it’s a sin. I see her staring at me, eyes wide open, her head up. “Amen,” she says, and everyone else lifts their heads as they repeat, “Amen.”

There’s a photo of a bride and groom hugging under a pyramid arch, children smiling behind them. “This is a newlywed couple,” the English woman says. “They show their love to one another by love-making. Love-making means making each other feel very loved. How does someone make someone feel loved?” She chuckles a bit and covers her face, “Well you give them kisses, hugs, and hold them closely. But between a man and a woman, things are different.” I look at Father. He’s looking at the movie. “When they hold each other very close and give each other a warm hug, they laugh and become quite good friends,” she says, stopping suddenly, then looking very seriously into the camera, “and then something happens,” she says. “In a very short time, the man feels his penis become erect, straight and hard and the sperm coming down into it. Sort of like a wet dream. Now while this sperm is coming out of the penis, the woman is waiting to receive the sperm.” The boys start laughing and Father tells them to be quiet. I’m trying my hardest to hear, but she’s waiting to say what she’s about to say because it’s important. She crosses her hands and shakes her head solemnly, lowering her eyebrows. “It’s amazing how God made it. While they’re making love and being happy with each other, the woman feels her vagina becoming kind of slippery inside so that the penis can easily go in and out without any trouble.” The British woman makes a hole and a finger with her hands. She puts the finger in the hole, and the British woman says, “So he slips his penis into her vagina, gives her the sperm, and now she has the sperm. Then he slips the penis out and that’s all.” She smiles and the boys start chuckling again, Father telling them to be quiet or go to the office. “That is called sexual intercourse,” she says, “although most people simply call it ‘having sex’.” I look around, my eyes darting. I’m sweating, but I can’t get up – I look over at Charlie, but I can barely see his face. “Now you may think this all sounds very strange,” the British woman says. “If you are afraid that you may pass water instead of semen into the vagina, don’t worry,” she says shaking her head and smiling. “That can’t happen…” She says more, but the boys in the back start laughing extra loud so hard I can’t hear her. Father turns the lights on and starts shouting.

“Alright, alright, alright!” he yells. “Out! All three of you!” The boys walk out of the classroom giggling as I pat the sweat off my face. I look over at Charlie and see him looking at the television with his mouth open. “Perhaps you’re saying to yourself, ‘yuck!’ It sounds strange, right? Almost wrong?” She tilts her head again. “Don’t worry, my children. God has made it a really lovely, exciting, and pleasant feeling.”

Father pauses it and her face is stuck in the middle of a smile. He steps next to it and then I look at him because he’s moving. “Your parents have been informed about this film,” he says aloud. “You may all go to lunch now.” He grabs some papers off Sister Mary’s desk as the class walks out. I go up to his desk, patting the sweat off. “Father,” I say.

Father stops and looks down. “Yes, my child.”

“You told my parents?” I ask.

“Everyone’s parents were informed,” he says, and I feel stupid for not understanding. I’m the last one in the class. When I get to the door, I hear him call my name. He tells me not to worry. I hear him, but I don’t listen.

I don’t go to lunch. Instead I leave school and head out to the fort so I can finish the comic about the werewolf. I stop reading because it gets too cold and the moon looks too pretty not to look at, but it’s daylight now and I don’t want to go home. I stay up in the tree until the sun goes down – I figure Mother’s still at work so I just keep reading. The werewolf story is so good I read it seven times in a row. I hear footsteps below the fort and hear Charlie climbing up.

“What’s the password?” I ask. 

Charlie looks up and laughs. “Penis.” I frown and let him in. 

“What’s up with you?” he asks. “Why you here so late?”

“Why are you?” 

“I was hanging out with my friend,” he says, moving his head and looking down.

“Who?”

“Paul. He’s in ninth.”

I sit up and put down what I’m reading. “What do you guys do?”

“Just boy stuff,” he says. “Tonight they inishated me.”

“Initiate?” I ask and Charlie nods. I take the weird look off my face and relax. “What’d they make you do?” 

“I can’t say, it’s a secret,” he says, and then he smiles, nodding rapidly “But it was pretty cool.”

“Charlie,” I say, looking at him in the eyes. He stops smiling and looks at me, laughing.

“Why you so serious?” he laughs. “What?”

“Promise you won’t keep any secrets from me,” I say, and I slow down because I’m nervous he’ll make fun of me. “You can have good ones like, a birthday present or some kind of cool surprise, but,” and I swallow, “Just, none of the bad ones, ok?”

He picks up a comic and starts reading it. “Alright, alright,” he says. “I promise.” I smile and nod.

“Thank you, Charlie. You’re a reasonable man.”

Charlie laughs, “Man, what they say is true,” he said.

“What?” I ask.

“You talk like an old man,” Charlie said, slapping his thigh. “Like some old dusty book, that’s what Jameson said at lunch.”

I scrunch my eyebrow and look down. “Why would he say that?” I whisper. I look out the window and see the moon half full, about to go dark or bright, I can never tell. 

“I ain’t been home in two days,” Charlie says.

“You run away from home?”

“Yeah,” he says back. “I don’t think they care if I’m gone – I think they just want me to be there so they look good.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, but I know what he means.

“I don’t know,” Charlie says. “I just feel safe in our fort. Promise you won’t tell anyone I’ve been sleeping here?”

“I won’t,” I say. “Want me to bring you some lunch and hot cocoa? It gets cold up here.”

He smiles and nods. “Yeah,” he says, “and maybe a light.”

This work is featured in issue #16

Read Charlie Boy: X next Friday